The Day

Today is quite significant so feel I should document it somehow.
At 9.20am this very morning my name will have been heard in an Ipswich Court room and I became an official divorcee (what an awful word!).

Today I am NOT sad, depressed, bitter, hateful or angry. Today I can sit here and give glory and thanks to God for all he has done.
Sometimes life doesn't turn out how we planned or wanted but "we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good" Romans 8:28 (The Message).
Life for me at the moment is pretty awesome and exciting but I'm sure hard times will come again. When they do I know I have a God holding on to me who wont let me go and a God who loves me more than I can imagine.

Today could have been a tough day but Today is the day that the Lord has made.....

Thoughts on Denver

2 weeks. 2 feet of snow. 2 people. 2 flights and a million thoughts and experiences.
Hang in there with me as I try and think over and process my most recent trip to Denver, Colorado.

The mornings tended to start with attendance at the daily christian fellowship from 7.00am. Between 12-20 people rock up with all their daily struggles and brokeness. Some have walked across the road from one of the ministries homes, some have slept out on the street and some can testify to God's amazing grace and provision. The meetings take the form of an AA meeting, but i'm guessing not all of you have attended one of them either! People come and go, come for the coffee, come for the doughnuts, come to get warm, come for prayer, come for friendship. I have never experienced such openess and honesty, people who are willing to share the dark sides of their life and are not ashamed to do so. I have learnt a lot from these people, my new friends. I don't propose we tell all to everyone but I know that I need to admit where I stuff up and what I'm struggling with and pride has to be aborted.

Most days we served coffee to streetkids by the park in downtown Denver. These 'kids' were anything from 18 to 40 years old. What always shocks me is how cheery and full of life they seem. I'm not naive enough to dismiss this is partly due to whatever their drug of choice was that morning, but they certainly have a good attitude. They are always thankful, on the whole positive and for some weird reason love an English accent. During my 2 weeks in Denver I really felt I got to 'know' a few of these kids and feel truly priveleged for that opportunity.

We did plenty of other things including working at a food bank, clothes bank and hanging out in the art studio. I also managed to tag on some holiday and saw some pretty amazing sights in the mountains, attempted skiing and spent a lot of time chilling in coffee shops and restaurants.

I think I have started a love affair with Denver. I love what Open Door Ministries does. I love the people. I love the city. I love the culture. Could I live there? Yes. Will I live there?.....Now there's a question!

Oh Deer...

"He makes my feet like the feet of the deer. He helps me stand on the highest places." 2 Samuel 22:34

4 weeks ago I had my third tattoo. It is on the heel of my right foot and is of a deer. It seems random to a lot of people but I had it done because of the verse above (Eugh - I just drank from a glass what I thought was water only to discover it was lemonade, hate it when that happens). Anyway back to the deer (who happens to have been nicknamed Samuel), I came across this verse a couple of months ago and for the theologically inclined amongst you, you'll find this verse appear 3 times in the Old Testament. 

For me it was about God giving me the strength I need to overcome battles and to stand victoriously. But it wasn't until today that this verse became even more meaningful to me. 

Earlier I was in North Norfolk in a place called Deersglade (you can see where this is going). With friends in tow we went for a wander and came upon a huge herd of Deer. It was an amazing sight. I couldn't tell you how many were there but I would guess at around one hundred. Most were grazing, young ones were chasing each other playfully and a few stags had their heads up high watching out. It puzzled me because most looked timid and scared and once they saw us 100 yards from them they soon moved. But they never moved far. When they ran, they ran fast but sometimes clumsily. In that moment, the Deer didn't look so great and mighty to me. Whilst the 8 of us were standing there, Rob reminded us of what deers can be like. When 2 stags fight they rise up on their hind legs, lock antlers, charge and the battle begins.  Neither of them relenting. They normally wrestle in mating season when there is some pretty doe to fight for. 

I figured this is what God calls us to be like - meek and mild in nature but with mighty strength to battle. It's important to graze and be fed, play and build relationship with others. But we also need to keep our heads up high, scan our surroundings, identify possible predators and prepare to battle.  

Whose now singing "Doe, a deer a female deer. Ray, a drop of golden sun.....?"

 

What do you hear....?

I'm sat in the garden pondering how noisy life has become. 

I can hear the wind blowing and rustling my magazine sat on the table. I hear Dan and Jen's windchimes moving musically. The boy next door announcing to his mum that he is home and then talking to their oversized dog called Daisy, who really doesn't look like a Daisy!

I hear another neighbour unlocking his garage door. The faint drone of traffic on the A14. People getting into their cars. The chicken scrounging for worms. Sam next door bouncing on his trampoline. Walter shouting to Margaret that it's time to leave. A bird tweeting away on top of the roof. A lawn mower. A helicoptor. And then I get a text message. 

I hear life. 

I wished for silence in order to hear God but then it occurred to me God was in the noise. I can hear creation, humans made in his image, relationships, friendships and fun.

I hear life. I hear God.